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raysen is back on track. This is my list of things to complete within 7 days

write a poem
its only my 2nd attempt But...

Here it is I hope you like it, Being only my 2nd poem I fel wuite chuffed with the way it come out, esp as I qalways have trouble expresing myself, because i waffle on, and dont say what i mean to blah blah. So hre it is. any comments are appreciated.
I don’t know whats going on,or whats about to start,
Can you hear me crying quietly, I’m re-living this wounded heart.
It’s all coming back, i remember it all so clear,
But this memory, it frightens me, makes me live in fear.

Why did you just say that, whats it all about?
All these questions and confusion i could really do without.
All i want to do is ask questions, and take it back to square one,
But I know that’s not a good idea, coz i know where it started from.

I’ve never hated you, just been scared for you,
I wasn’t sure if you would make it through.
How you act on threats is never a good sign, One day I’m scared you wont even say good bye.
I Couldn’t live without you, no matter the pain,
If you left like this, I’d feel I was to blame.
Could’ve done more, to save the worry
I should have been stonger, i’m real sorry.

But the air is cleared, in a different way,
Did you learn from the past,Listen to what we had to say?
I’m so proud of you, the way you held it together,
I didnt like what you said, but you acted alot better.

I’m glad we’ve come this far, and you’ve prooved to them,
That you listened and learned, and it didnt happen again.
It’s the first step and I believe in you,
All you need to do is believe in yourself too.



Comments:

good good

It’s not the type of writing I’m used to taking interest in, but it’s pretty good. For a second attempt it’s actually really well done. Keep them coming. [:

btw, [see picture] no point it; I like it, is all.

raysen is back on track. This is my list of things to complete within 7 days

Cheers mate done a few more since this but here is my latest..slightly different please let me know what your thoughts are though

Alright.
It’s time.
Your Back.
To the way you used to be.

I can’t.
see why.
You Wont.
Just let it slide, theres nothing between you and me.

It’s not your fault,
It’s the way you are,
But I think you like it though,
To have someone new to scar.
Like you’ve been hurt,
But take it out on me,
Your weakness,
Is you don’t listen to anyone about anything.

And that’s what drives me insaine,
And you know it. Which doubles up my pain,
I can’t believe you. You make me mad
But your my best friend. And.
I’m hear to listen. And.
Try my best to help you through.

Even though I don’t know why,
A force is pulling down my mind,
I don’t believe your lieing,
You not even good at trying,
To hide the fact, That.

I’ve come to.
Learn you,
Don’t care about me.
But I know, you wont admit that your not stable mentally.

And

I know that.
That you don’t Care.
About me but.
I’ll no longer feel the hurt and pain,
Of your bitter tounge, spite and shame.

(This comment was deleted.)

Practice makes better

...and with this “practice makes better” is proven to be true. I enjoyed it much more than the previous, keep it boy, you’re succeeding.

raysen is back on track. This is my list of things to complete within 7 days

Thanks believe me it’s good to hear some one not only praise you but telling you it’s getting better.
We seem to be like minded with some of our 43 things, Do you write or want to write poems/songs?
hey mate if you wanna chat properly email me maybe. senwaar@hotmail.com – put sumthing in the subject line thow so i know its u nd dont delete it by accident.

Take Care,

Love Rachael .xx


raysen has gotten 2 cheers on this entry.

 

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