.. and that’s a nice fella who isn’t always bitchin’ about this ‘n that, or flippin’ off angry comments at the drop of a hat, or pretending that he’s so damned tuff.
It ain’t just the obviously and apparently negative pretenses which I pose – I look happy and confident and together when I’m not, too!
I’m TIRED of being scared to show who I really am. Why did I shell that guy up in the first place? He was doin’ much better than I am now!
It’s hard to shed that shell once it’s in place. Kinda feels like your friends are going to look at you and go “What do you mean this is the ‘real’ you? Were you lying before? Pretending?” But wouldn’t you be happy for your friends if they got closer in their outer person to who their inner person was? I just thought the way you phrased this was really interesting. Made me think.
Tsill might be morphing
I really relate to your entry – something I struggle with too. I know that feeling – being ‘tired of being scared’. The hard part (aside from the crappy fear) is trying to be aware of or remember who the person in the shell is so I can try to be that.
Hope the reason you haven’t posted more on this is that you’ve figured out how to do it. Cheers.
