i think too much, all the time in fact. i’ve been told i think too much. i cannot willingly go to sleep, i have to be totally exhausted before i do. thoughts are constantly running through my mind whether i want them to or not. i think about ways to improve my life, stupid things ive done, what other people’s reactions where to something, things i shouldn’t have said and so on. I stopped pretty much everything i was doing. i was stressed out, i tried to eliminate anything that stressed me out. the only thing is i fixed the symptoms and not the cause. i dont know what the cause is? i know i am bored with life and i have no goals – goals that i am passionate about. we all want to be independent and financially free and happy but i dont know what it is that will get me there. i have many interests and i can spend hours focused on the activity, but i am also easily bored and need change. change that is just outside my comfort zone and not a million miles away. i do not adjust very well, so something that is predictable and foreseen is more inviting for me. i am still unemployed and i want to make money to move forward. I have given into my bad habits and it keeps me on its reigns. i need to break this cycle, in my mind i know what i am doing is self destructive and sending me backwards. i am very aware of how i think and what i do, that is why i can’t understand why i can’t change.