That I finally came to an understanding in the way God works. It was like a revelation of calm in a moment of sh*tstorm panic. All of that hellfire whipping around me, burning my skin, and then I remembered Moses’ trek through the desert with his people. When they were hungry, God always provided. When they were thirsty, God always provided, but when they were greedy, when they started to doubt God, it angered him, and his grace disappeared.

To me, this is metaphorically like saying the same thing so many self-help gurus and practitioners have been saying for decades. What you focus on expands. When you are fully aware and focused on abundance, living your life as God has meant for you and actively fulfilling your purpose, it all flows together. When you struggle against yourself, your purpose, and God’s will, it all falls apart.

I’m ready to hold the pieces together. I’m ready to live the life I’m meant to.