I was afraid I would learn there was nothing, that I was just me being me.

And now, I know: I have a non-verbal learning disability. I’m a classic case, apparently.

The testing reinforced weaknesses and cognitive quirks (and god, all the things I forget ) and seemingly simple things I can’t do that I have always known about but have never been able to justify – the curse of being “smart”. So, it’s not a blow to be told things I already know.

But it’s not something I can lean on—after all, it’s always been there. It is, however, something I can do something about now. Cognitive remediation (no, I’m not schizophrenic), here I come. (Though who knows where or when, since I am officially owned by my job.)