monkiegrrrl

Allow myself to only be treated well by the people I choose to have friendships and relationships with. If they do not, I need to find the courage to move on without them. (read all 3 entries…)

Time to move on  — 3 years ago

This relationship I’m in isn’t doing it for me. I know what I want and need in a relationship and this isn’t it. I’m doing my part, but he sure isn’t doing his.

Sunday I got my things from his place. Last night I hung out with him but didn’t stay over. There’s nothing cryptic about me saying “I think I show you that I like you, what’s so hard about you showing me that you like me?” Nothing is wrong with taking it slow, but there’s a difference between taking it slow and blunting your emotions, holding back and doing nothing.

Being single is better than being in a relationship that makes you sad.

Jun 01, 2005, 09:00AM PDT 3 cheers

Comments:

phronima

Ahh...

Move right on girl, you dont need to waste your time! Hard to do though, but remember this goal!

Jun 01, 2005, 06:15PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

monkiegrrrl

I have to keep reminding myself, absolutely. It’s hard not to backslide though.

Jun 02, 2005, 08:33AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this 1 cheer

1layne is thinking about her motorcycle...

I am going through the same thing....

I finally walked away from it…I found that looking him in the eye…and just saying, “I’m not happy anymore,” was the best thing I have ever done in my life. Because it places the burden on him, it made him question everything he did or didn’t do in the entire relationship that made me so very unhappy. I still find myself backsliding and wanting to call or email…but I hold it in draft mode and then delete it, thinking to myself, that he is not good enough for me. I put so much into the relationship and he only put in the least amount, trying to make his exgf jealous I guess. That really hurt.

I am sure you will succeed…just have a great base of friends that will keep you on the high side of life, don’t sit and dwell on what could have been, if it could have it would have…sometimes men just don’t know when they had the “real thing,” instead of an imitation! Their loss babe!!!

I borrowed your goal too!!!! I need the reminder for future reference!!!:)

Apr 13, 07:08PM PDT | Respond to this 1 cheer

daleks

A good exitrance is better than a good entrance

Did you at least set something on fire or knock over a lamp as you left? Poison his dog perhaps? I mean, the least you could have done was kick him in the nuts.

Jun 03, 2005, 10:32PM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

monkiegrrrl

See, there was no dramatic exitrance

As a matter of fact, he still calls me and is acting like things are still on. I guess he thinks I was just peaved at him.

Apparently I need to be a little more dramatic. Perhaps I should kick him in the nuts. Setting a random thing on fire as I left might be fun too though. Unfortunately he has no dog I could ignite.

Oh! I know! I’ll set his nuts on fire, knock him over and smash a lamp over his head. Think he’ll get it then?

Eh, he’d probably just think I’m crazy.

I should just tell him I started things back up with an old boyfriend. He’s already expressed to me that all women he dates end up cheating on him. I could just prove him right.

Jun 07, 2005, 11:17AM PDT | Respond to this

phronima

Nah.. too much effort

Are his nuts really worth that much energy? I doubt it.

Jun 09, 2005, 08:07AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

monkiegrrrl

Eh, maybe not

Besides, I don’t have any anger towards him really. He’s a pretty big guy so if I were to take drastic measures I think emotional cruelty would be the way to go.

But we’re grown-ups…that’s not necessary.

Jun 09, 2005, 11:25AM PDT | Respond to this

Got Papi? (Papacito) is headed back to Microsoft! :D

A general model for handling people ..

Not speaking to your relationship problem, but to the overall goal in general:

I have always battled and struggled to gain understanding with people that were difficult or problematic. It’s the way I am.

This turns out to be painful and exhausting.

I also happen to be a river person (kayaker, fly fisher, etc).

That helped me get over my problem and form a model for dealing with people.

I now see people as boulders in a river. I will not try to change their position, nor will I continue to bang into them.

I can either play and rest in their eddy (or find trout in the still water behind them). Or I can move on down the river and look for a more interesting boulder to play with.

No more injuring myself by banging into them. No more “boohoo, why did that boulder hurt me like that?” It’s just a boulder … it is what it is. If it hurts me, I need to take responsibility for banging into it. Learn and move on. But I will no longer blame the boulder for repeatedly scraping or bruising me.

Wow … so glad I repeated that here. It’s SO liberating to not have to struggle with people.

It’s also about taking full responsibility for what happens to me.

.DaveFer

PS— Click here for a graphical representation of this concept.

Dec 21, 2005, 11:39PM PST | Respond to this 1 cheer

missmarcellin

i dont know anything about this whitewater stuff but I like the analogy and am keeping it.

Apr 11, 2006, 05:45AM PDT | Respond to this


monkiegrrrl has gotten 3 cheers on this entry.

  • Charlie cheered this 2 years ago
  • ~Julie~ cheered this 2 years ago
  • Lisa cheered this 3 years ago

 

I want to:

The world wants to...

Visit Japan Join the military visit all 7 continents Study the Bible daily. be a better daughter graduate with honors Go to Lollapalooza be who I want to be cassie wants to design my own website change someone's life for the better Watch all episodes of "Mysterious Cities of Gold" surf throw a party grow an avocado tree Make new friends read the Koran summer romance cure my insomnia be creative every day mindshare2000 wants to lose 5 kilos find at least one thing each day that makes me happy and record it everyday for a year travel around the world stop lying go on a yoga retreat Read Modern Library's 100 Best Novels of the 20th Century be hypnotized travel