wow. i’m sorry for what you are going through but happy for what is in store for you. I went through my separation in 2002. I went through this really amazing personal/spiritual growth phase and kept hearing the words: be still. I had little to no contact with my now ex-husband but felt like i was to concentrate on being the best me, getting healthy and taking care of myself and to just not touch the marriage thing, i didn’t see a lawyer or anything. one day about a year later, i got the divorce papers in the mail from his lawyer. it was as painless as something like that could get. by the time they came i was ready to move forward and knew that i had done the right thing. what is right for you only your soul/spirit will decide. my questions are: are you getting emotionally and physically healthy? are you pursuing new hobbies and activities? hanging out with new and old friends? laughing like never before, taking new risks? getting manicures and massages? take care of you and then your path will become clear. best wishes for whatever lies ahead, but know that it will be wonderful!