I’ve been noting that i often do things not necessarily because i want to do them or have to do them, but because i’m thinking there will be benfits or consequences if i do or i don’t (there usually are none)

Case in point. the other day i went out—memorial day (err, actually night) so yes, I had to work the next day. and was already feeling tired. went dancing anyway, thinking it was going to be a blast and everybody ( who is anybody ) was going to be there and the truth was: it wasn’t all that great.

i experience this routinely—get all hiped for other motives other than my own personal desires and end up sadly disillusioned. going to try to put an end to this routine.