Because its too fucking hard to understand that’s why, physics needs to get closer to the people, talk in terms the kids of America can understand.

Consider this, Americans use a greater variety of units of measurement than anyone else in the world. they measure the length of a race in meters, but the length of the long jump event in feet and inches, speak of an engine’s power in horsepower and its displacement in liters. a hurricane’s wind speed in knots and its central pressure in millibars.

Do you see the problem

To this end I propose that physics overhaul its units of measurement and implement a new universal unit of measurement called the Hamburger.

Physics is concerned primarily with distance (metre or meter), time, and mass. The hamburger is able to describe all of the above and more it is easily reproducible at any MacDonald’s outlet and is something everyone can relate to.

Definitions and conversion factors
Originally, the meter was designed to be one ten-millionth of a quadrant, the distance between the Equator and the North Pole, however, the 17th General Conference on Weights and Measures in 1983 defined the meter as that distance that makes the speed of light in a vacuum equal to exactly 299 792 458 meters per second. The speed of light in a vacuum, c, is one of the fundamental constants of nature. Since c defines the meter now, experiments made to measure the speed of light are now interpreted as measurements of the meter instead. How fucking stupid is that! If the speed of light does change how will we know??

Under my proposal the new unit of distance the hamburger is defined as the average distance between MacDonald’s outlets measured by lining up hamburger buns side to side and dividing by 10,000. See how much easier this becomes no complex experiments required.

There are 10 ten standard hamburgers to the meter, every thing else just follows on from here.