Today was my first day of my Interpersonal Communications class. It was really neat. The teacher enjoys what she is doing, and I find that, that is a great environment for me to learn in. We have 4 chapters to read in 1 week, from the book “Looking Out, Looking In”, and I just got done with chapter one. I’m going to copy out a couple key paragraphs for my future use as well as anybody else who may find it interesting in completing this goal.

”... there can be no surefire list of rules or tips that will guarantee your success as a communicator. They also mean that competent communicators are able to adapt their style to suit the individual and cultural preferences of others.

“Because competent behavior varies so much from one situation and person to another, it is a mistake to think that communication competence is a trait that a person either has or does not have. It’s more accurate to talk about ‘degrees’ or ‘areas’ of competence. ... In fact your competence with one person may vary from situation to situation.

Because communication is transactional something we do ‘with’ others rather than ‘to’ others—behavior that is competent in one relationship isn’t necessarily competent in others.”

“One feature that distinguishes effective communication-at least in qualitatively interpersonal relationships-is commitment. In other words, people who seem to care about relationships communicate better than those who don’t. This care shows up in at least two ways. The first is ‘commitment to the other person’. Concern for the other person is revealed in a variety of ways: a desire to spend time with him or her instead of rushing, a willingness to listen carefully instead of doing all the talking, the use of language that makes sense to the other person, and openness to change after hearing the other person’s ideas. Effective communicators also care about ‘the message’. The appear sincere, seem to know what they are talking about, and demonstrate through words and deeds that they care about what they say.

How do you measure up as a competent communicator? Competence isn’t a trait that people either have or do not have. Rather, it’s a state that we achieve more or less frequently.”