My long-time bf and I have been considering a threesome for a long time; we’ve decided to wait til we’re married or at least within 6 months of our marriage.

We started our alternative sex exploration by going to a sex club and doing fetish things like tieing each other up, whipping, etc. Starting slow made us feel comfortable enough to just go to the club and have sex together in front of people. After that, when we were there people would come up to us and want to kiss and touch. We said no to many people before actually engaging in any naked touching/kissing with another girl, then another boy.

Now after partying sometimes we will have friends (single and couples) come over and we'll get very sexy : masturbation, group showers, sucking and kissing in tandem, two couples having sex in the same space, etc. I am nervous about actually seeing my bf penetrate another woman still, so we're waiting.

Even this “easy” stuff can be very emotional and sometimes I feel too self-concious to participate. It is important that my bf understands this and pays a lot of attention to me and we only do what both of us are REALLY into. YOu’ve got to have rules about the kind of sex, kind of people, positions, locations, everything must be planned and decided to avoid emotional damage.

But that’s my suggestion: start by getting a little crazy before you go all the way.

Hey there. Threesomes can be a very rewarding sexual experience if they are approached very carefully. I had a trio relationship for quite some time, and it was fine and rewarding until I realized my original partner was very emotionally needy, and left the entire situation to refigure out my life. So here are some suggestions.

1. Fantasize. For a few months before even moving further than this, every once and a while during or before sex, weave a story together about what you would be doing if another person(s) was in the room. Become very involved in the fantasy, and use this as a tool to figure out what makes you feel uncomfortable and what excites you before adding a real additional person in.

1.5 Talk with your partner

2. Set clear boundaries. Maybe intercourse is okay, but kissing is too intimate. Maybe intercourse is off limits, but oral sex is just dandy. Figure out what you are both interested in, and have open discussions with the person/couple you are thinking about having a threesome with. Setting boundaries now will prevent jealousy or awkwardness later.

2.5 Talk with your partner

3. Phone sex. Before actually engaging in a threesome, have some hot phone sex action with the person while fantasizing as in step 1. Actually hearing the person may make you realize some things that are comfortable/not comfortable that you hadn’t thought of before.

3.5 Talk with your partner

4. Sex in the same room. Before actually messing with one another, if it’s a couple, have sex in the same room/on the same bed as one another.

4.5 Talk with your partner

5. Fondle. Groping is generally not too intense. If your wife is craving women, she can fondle another womans breasts while that woman mastrubates and you have sex with your wife. Etc, etc. Don’t jump straight into different forms of sex.

5.5 Talk with your partner

6. On with the games!

6.5 Talk with your partner

If at anytime anyone feels uncomfortable, STOP and reevaluate! You don’t want to ruin a relationship over something like sex :) And most importantly, be honest and open with one another at ALL TIMES. Good luck!!