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make a space here to write anything I want (read all 23 entries…)

I notice I’m steadily losing subscribers, and I don’t mind that too much in itself, but just wanted to explain why I haven’t updated very frequently or may not seem to have made many changes lately, in case anyone thinks I’ve lost interest in it. I haven’t. Things have been difficult. Depression is hard, and the swings are swinging lower and longer. I want to make so many changes to my life, but don’t quite know how to go about it. A grant for a creative arts placement, something I’ve been putting almost all my hopes into and something that’s been dragging on for about a year is still yet to come through, and may not come through at all. I’d like to make new friends but don’t quite know how. I am finding more and more things I can be passionate about, but no one to share those things with, because my current friends don’t share those passions, and I don’t really know how to make new ones that I may have more in common with.

Anyway, the sad stuff aside, I do have so many changes in mind. I’m planning to start a new profile on 43things, and maybe a few other places on the web, and try to make use of the internet’s potential to engage with and meet people. I’m thinking of being more open, and part of this involves putting up a photo of myself, which is partly why I’ve been looking into buying a digital camera lately. (It’s looking like it’s going to be a Canon Powershot S3. I’m quite excited about the prospect of having a new toy to play with learning more about photography.) I’m not exactly sure what I’m trying to say here, and maybe I’ve said too much already, but I just wanted people to know that even if the changes may not be showing up on the page here, I’m very much working on them, and hopefully you’ll see the results soon.


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Thanks so much :)

I am very much looking forward to the photography – hopefully I’ll have some great photos to show here! :)


I personally am a little relieved when people don’t post constantly, not because I don’t want to read it, but because I don’t feel as guilty for not being able to keep up with it all.

I think I understand about the depression. While I don’t have that problem specifically, the condition I do have mimics depression in a lot of ways and I don’t go to the doctor as often as I should. I don’t write about it much, but damn, sometimes it’s hard to make your mind and your body get up and go. So I commend you for the plans you are making and the changes you are working on.

You have your own voice here, and I like it. You’re quiet, introspective, smart and talented, with a sense of wonder and gentle humor, and I really love reading things through your perspective. It can get so lonely out there in the world. Like the goal says, we want to find out where all the people like us are hiding. I think it’s easier to find them here than walking down the street, but that usually means they’re hours or oceans away.

Thanks so much,

you’re very kind :)

Stupid oceans, eh?

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so much. And you mine :)

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You're right, of course.

I do value most those who I actually talk to. It’s just the number means I somehow interests somebody enough to subscribe, and that’s some kind of connection. Who knows, maybe some of them lurk for a while before they one day decide to say hello. It just bothered me a little to think that people may give up on me because they think I’ve lost interest in 43things, which is an understandable impression given my recent inactivity here. I’ve got a lot to deal with at the moment, which means I’m not able to put as much time into 43things as I’d like, both in achieving my own goals and supporting others in achieving theirs. So really I was just trying to say, Hey, I haven’t given up on this yet, stick around, I’ll be right back.

and none in the company of an adult Bengal tiger. has gotten 2 cheers on this entry.


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