I’m pretty sure the reason I don’t have a girlfriend is because I live in the worst place in the world to find a girl. I have a feeling that once I move out of this place I will be swimming in a pool filled with hot women who want me. I’m originally from Chicago, but I live in the desert in SoCalifornia right now. The desert is not a good place to meet women. However, I’ve been working on my style and the way that I think about different actions that a woman does, and I feel that if given the proper chance to succeed, that I would be able to become a regular old ladies man. In closing though, I really want to have a girlfriend, and at this particular juncture in my life, I feel that getting a girlfriend would probably be my number one priority.

Wow, that’s probably the gayest thing I’ve ever written.