I don’t like it that I do this, because the reason for it is not something I want to have to explain to people. I’m over the past, I really am, but I still have this- reflex- of gasping and going totally tense any time someone like comes up behind me and taps me on the shoulder. Even things as little as people brushing against the back of my chair as they walk past put me on edge so much that I sit in corners whenever possible.
It has to stop. I’m sick of telling. I don’t want it to be so obvious that there’s something in my past that I haven’t disclosed. It’s not relevant anymore and it makes things awkward with whoever I tell- in junior year this guy who liked me found out from a “friend” of mine and tried to use it to blackmail me into going out with him. I don’t need any more people knowing things that aren’t their business; if only I could act like a normal person then things wouldn’t be so complicated.