Hi there, writing this to get some sort of insight and equally to get it off my chest…So this is part moaning and partly genuinely how I feel…
My usual trigger for feeling sorry for myself is lack of success with women. Its no different this time. I went to a speed date in London, came away feeling more demoralised than before. Had fairly little to say to most of the 30 odd girls I met there. Felt like I was being tolerated by most of the girls there, despite complimenting a number of them. I tried to be intriguing and say interesting stuff and relax and be myself, but I’m not sure whether I can do this flirting thing. After the speed date you mingle with everyone. And I remembered one girl in particular as she was really nice and chatty and I went over to her as I enjoyed our silly chat. Sadly she had completely forgotten who I was and insisted I was making our encounter up. I dismissed that and later plucked up the courage to talk to someone else and after a little easy going chat I asked : “I’d quite like to see you again”…and she said…hmmm…maybe…(missing out the “if you’re lucky pal”). And walked off. She ignored me the rest of that evening.

To make it worse, I saw a friend of mine later making out with some stranger as I was about to leave. Just felt so alone in that instant. Stupid really.

Its now 1.30am and I feel like this speed dating evening has been a waste of time. I’ve learnt little about myself and am going to be tired for work the next day and I have eaten half a pizza after 1am and missed my training run….For what??!!!