British people are exotic to me. We’re all mutts here in the states, I don’t feel that special here, just dirt common wierd.

I agree with all you say about the “unrealness” and that so much communication doesn’t properly come through. At the same time, my nearly 30 years in the computer field have shown me that many times interactions can be more real through the net. So much of how we interact with each other is often just noise to put others off the scent. Like that old Eagles song, “Looking for a lover that won’t blow my cover, it’s so hard to find.” People often forget to put up the smokescreen online. And when they do, the signal to noise ration goes down so fast, most people can detect it rapidly. When we’ve got a voice transmission, or face to face, it’s so easy to distract oneself with the grand show that our co-communicator has developed over a lifetime. Much harder to do with written or email communications.

But the truth, it can be pretty easy to get into misunderstandings with email. I haven’t found it very productive to arbitrate or negotiate through conflicts online at all, especially in a public forum. You get a forest fire (flame war) very fast. Best to do that on the phone or better yet in person. Which unfortunately doesn’t tend to happen for folks who have no other relationship than online. So once such an online relationship goes south, it tends to stay there. It’s one reason I like 43T, the tone of this website tends to avoid fighting and flame wars, since we’re supporting each others goals.