How to stop smoking (again)
How I did it: I was at a conference in Ulan Bator, Mongolia, and, because others were doing it, went up for a blessing from a woman that the Mongolians see as a manifestation of Green Tara. Just as I received her "blessing," I quickly thought what to focus on: "Well, I need to quit smoking." One week later, at a monastery a 7 hour drive from Ulan Bator, where I would be staying for the month, I came down with a nasty case of bronchitis. I could not have smoked another cigarette then if you paid me. I had luckily brought nicotine patches with me, so I used those.
Lessons & tips: For people like me, who seem to become more focused in our addiction
than other people, whose substance or behavior is our r'aison de etre' while using, I
believe that we need to know that it is not our "willpower" alone that
allows us to become free. Instead, it is the fact that we really do know
about our habit, both its tenacious tendrils and its weak places. I
think we can prepare the best we can and then pray (or wish, or hope or
believe or contemplate) that causes and conditions (karma, the universe,
the world around us) will conspire to support us, not thwart us. One
night you are jonesing so bad for "just one" cigarette, but you don't
have a ride and it's too late to walk; the next morning you are so glad
you didn't smoke and ready for a new day. Or you go out that night, and
get a pack and realize that "just one" is not real, and that it actually
sucks, so you throw the whole damn pack away and start over.
You just keep picking up the challenge of one more hour, or minute or
day or whatever it takes instead of picking up a cigarette. That is the
work. Tricking your brain is good: "Sure, I can smoke if I want, but
not until tomorrow"; also, rewards for any increment of success are allowed. The
main thing to remember, I believe, is this:
You are not quitting smoking because you are depriving yourselfor
because you are punishing yourself for being so disgusting and weak. You
are quitting because you care enough about yourself to let this
love/hate affair go. It's an act of love that no one else can give you,
and it has the amazing power of being able to both change your life NOW
and likely change your future for the better.
Resources: 1. 14 & 7 mg nicotine patches. Someone who smokes about 10 to 20 cigarettes a day can likely skip the stronger (21 mg) patches and avoid the potential side effect of nightmares. I found that the 14 mg worked for me and I could sleep with one on, so that I didn't have cravings when I woke up.
2. 2 mg nicotine gum: the kind that is labeled as "coated." Store brands are as good as name brand; just look for the kind made in Denmark. In my opinion it's the best. I actually wish I could get non-nicotine gum with that lasting of a flavor and texture!
3. Some basic meditation instruction.
4. I like books that deal more directly with working with our minds in relation to addiction, and less the "how-to" style books. A good one is "Letting Go" by Martine Batchelor (it's got a Buddhist meditation bent, but could work for anyone interested in changing their habits)
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