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How I did it: I bought a book a long time ago with the templates and everything we need to make out our power of attorney, living trusts and health care proxy, but as usual, I took my time. After being diagnosed and finding out I need to have brain surgery, it pushed everything to the forefront because I want to make sure that my partner is taken care of in case something happens. Not that anything should, but seriously, I could technically get into a car accident on my way to surgery. Plus, a fear of ours always has been that once something happens to you, suddenly, family comes out of the woodwork and wants to make all the decisions and pushes the partner out because legally, they can. That's not peace of mind or fairness to my forever person. No matter how long forever is.
Lessons & tips: Buy the book that offers the templates and discs, its all there for you. Then, have it witnessed and notarized and it's 100% legal. No lawyers needed. Make sure you know the difference between a living revocable trust and a will, you are not as protected with a will as you think. Most importantly, if you have a same sex partner, many hospitals and states do not have to allow them in to see you if you are in ICU because they are not legally family. Make them your healthcare proxy.
Resources: Barnes & Noble, Suze Orman, and the book and cd The Legal Guide for Gay and Lesbian Couples. It covers everything from owning a home, to kids, custody, breakups, healthcare proxy and power of attorney.