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10 years after introducing 43 Things to the world, we have decided we have met our last goal: completing the incredible experience that has been 43 Things. Please join us in giving one last cheer to all the folks who have shared their goals with the world, as well as all the people who have worked at The Robot Co-op to build this incredible website. We won a Webby Award, published a book, and brought happiness to a lot of people.

Starting today, 43 Things users can export their goals and entries from the site. Starting August 15, we will make the site “read only”. 43 Things users will still be able to view the site and export their content, but we won’t be taking any new content from users. We hope to leave the site up for folks to see and download their content until the end of the year. Ending on New Year’s Eve takes us full circle.

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How to find my biological father


Wow it’s sad he had used you like that. It seems your mother was trying to look out for you and I know at times a person may feel like one is blowing the situation out of proportion. Almost 10 years ago my mother found her real mother and it was rocky at first-but then it started getting better after time. I have not met my grandmother yet but yesterday I did meet one of my uncles. I have two more to meet but I think I will not be meeting one of my uncle’s because he thinks my mother expects money-she don’t she is a nurse and thats not her motivation. This helped me out with what and how I should take it slow thank you for sharing your experience.

anniejmartian is trying to overhaul her life one day at a time!

I’m glad I helped. Good luck to you and your mother love. And those who thinks your mother wants money, I think the reason the are saying that is because sometimes that is what the are after themselves. My dad kept accusing me that the reason I talked to him less and less was because he had no money, but in reality it was because I was heartbroken. He was trying to use me. Don’t allow anyone to attempt that with you and your mother. Take all the time you need, after all, the did too. Never live your life with unresolved issues. You’ll never be as happy as you can be.


I read that whole thing and am truly amazed by your story. I want to commend you for being so confident in trusting your instincts. I’m sorry your dad is a shmuck. My boyfriend’s parents are alcoholics and beat us up pretty bad one day – once we were finally able to run out of the house we called the cops, but they said that if we pressed charges then his parents could press charges on us too, and we’d have a criminal record. It’s amazing because I’ve noticed that usually the sweetest, most decent human beings come from the most un-loving childhoods. It’s like when someone has parents like that, that the kid either becomes just like their parents, or exactly the opposite. I’m really glad to see that in your and my boyfriend’s cases you became the opposite.

I strongly suggest you not have anything to do with your father. If I was you, I wouldn’t even refer to him as my father. A father is someone who puts his children before himself, and he’s never done that once in his life. It seems to me he was more like a sperm-donor. I’m sorry if this is so harsh, but from your story I can’t help but feel a sort of hatred for that man. Please don’t let him take advantage of your kindness. You’re smarter than that.

At the end of your story you wrote that you want to be everything your father wasn’t and then show him what he missed. I think that is fantastic. There’s just a couple things I thought about while reading that part though: 1. He probably wouldn’t care to see what he missed, because the only person he seems to care about is himself. 2. F* what he thinks. Go out and accomplish those things and don’t even look back to see if he saw. Do it for yourself to make YOU feel good, not to make HIM feel bad. One day he will come to realize how alone he is in the world, but that day may not come for a while. You just need to worry about yourself.

Keep loving your mother. She sounds like a really admirable and strong woman. I feel like society brainwashes women into being insecure and needing a man’s approval in order to have self confidence. We have to rise above that and be strong for ouselves.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I was moved by your story and wish you all the best. Stay strong!

anniejmartian is trying to overhaul her life one day at a time!

Thank you.

That was very kind of you dear, honestly. I hope you and your boyfriend find a way out as well. You sound like good, genuine people. I often feel the word is running out of them, but then they always come out in the most surprising of ways.

I WILL go out there and be the best i could possibly be, and you’re right, I have to do this for me. And I will.

My mother is an admirable woman. I always thought her strict and too militaristic until I realized she’s been in the same shoes as me, and worse.

I am glad my story helped you, you have no idea how it feels to hear that. I hope it helps others realize that there is a light at the end of a tunnel, some way or another.

Best of luck to you both, you have my best wishes.

anniejmartian has gotten 6 cheers on this entry.


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