How I did it: It was a process that took many, many years.  I decided to allow God to change my heart, and heal my wounds.  By continuing the hate and anger, I was just perpetuating my own pain.  And the one who hurt me was hurt by someone also. 

Lessons & tips: Forgiving and accepting someone as they are is not the same thing as allowing them to hurt me again.  There is a certain level of vulnerability to it, but I also set boundaries in place that make me feel safe.  But being truly willing to forgive in my heart was the hardest part.  Still is. 

Resources: The Bible.  When I read this, I knew it was time to go to the next level and deal with my pain. 
1 John 2:9 - Anyone who says, "I am in the light," but hates a brother or sister, is still in the darkness. 
v. 11 - whoever hates a brother or sister is in darkness, lives in darkness, and does not know where to go, because the darkness has made that person blind. 

Dec 31, 2010, 08:32PM PST | 1 comment | 4 cheers