How I did it: It isn’t how I did it, its how we did it. I could never have completed this goal without a partner who trusted, respected, and shared my decision. But I need to go back a few years…

I always knew I wanted to wait until marriage, but it really hit home for me when I took a purity class at the age of 15. The women who led the class were amazing. They outlined the reasons God meant for us to wait, and some shared their own personal heartaches from finding out too late. One woman shared the struggles she had gone through after her first relationship ended, including health problems from an STD she caught that later led to infertility issues. She also related the devastation she felt when the relationship ended and how she felt she had given away a part of herself she could never get back. She was later happily married, but the scars left from her mistakes stayed with her.

When I got done with the class I made a renewed commitment to protect my health, and keep my heart whole for my future husband.

When started dating him at 18, I had just started college. He was still a virgin too, but that had more to do with not having found the right girl than anything else (because he certainly had ardent admirers)!

I have to laugh when I talk to him about this now. He knew before we got together about my plan to wait, but in the beginning he didn’t think we would make it. He just told me he would wait until I was ready. Three years in he knew me a little better and started to realize I was serious, lol. He never pressured me, and after a while my goal became his goal. We’re both very stubborn people, so every person who told us our goal was impossible just added fuel to the fire. We didn’t know anyone else who was waiting by the time we were finally married, but I think we earned the respect of a few people along the way.

More importantly, we earned the respect of each other. Our relationship and friendship grew in a way that wouldn’t have been possible if we weren’t waiting. I love him so much, and after two years of marriage, and seven years together I wouldn’t change a thing. Except maybe to have gotten married sooner! J We tied the knot two weeks after my graduation and we haven’t looked back. Our journey wasn’t perfect, we stumbled a little on the way – but in the end the wait was absolutely worth it. Trust me.

Lessons & tips:

• Know your reasons. In your moments of weakness remember why you made this goal. It makes it easier to defend your decision to others, and most importantly yourself.
• Don't obsess about sex and the "physical stuff", try to stay out of tempting situations
• Make yourself accountable. Don't justify your mistakes, learn from them.
• Get married when you know you have found the right one! Seriously, the longer you wait the harder it gets, so if you know you want to be married make it happen.

Resources:

• My fantastic best friend/boyfriend/fiance/hubby!
• 43T - I got lots of support on these boards
• The Bible's message on purity & marriage

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Jan 08, 2011, 03:32PM PST | 2 comments | 21 cheers