How I did it: The way I see it is that people who say mean things to others are insecure and if they are then they also could be jealous of whatever they're making fun of in you. I admit, sometimes I make unpleasant comments about people and usually it's something I blurt out accidentaly out of anger, not neccessarily anger towards that person but just general anger. Also, I've had mean things said to me. So, I've been on both sides of it and I've learnt that people don't accept it therefore it's quite easy to stop people from doing it.

You know the saying "if looks could kill"? Well, that comes in handy here.  Usually, if you are with your close friends and lets say a few other people, if someone says something mean everyone will just go quiet and there's kind of an awkward atmosphere. This may make you feel under pressure to react, or uncomfortable because you may start to think about what they've said and what the people around you think now.BUT actually, it's awkward and pressuring for the person who attacked you because no one joined in with the insults and no one laughed, so they feel silly. This is where you give them a look. It's up to you whether to give them a "I feel sorry for you cuz you're pathetic" look or a "wow..seriously dude? where did that come from?" look or maybe you won't even look at them and just ignore them for the rest of the night. Either way that person and anyone else witnessing this won't ever think of saying anything mean to you. Ever.

Now, if theres a case where everyone joins in and laughs and all the attention is on the atttackers "incredibly witty and hilarious" comments, then I'm afraid you may need to find new friends OR when you're alone with the few very close friends of yours you can talk to them about it and next time they will have your back which would be a shock for the attacker because they probably thought they could get an easy hit.

Lessons & tips: If what the person has said is true yet still inappropriate, maybe you could think about it if it is something you hadn't noticed and might want to change, it could help you. But still make it clear that you are not going to take anyones harsh comments. However, if that comment is waaay out of line, irrelevent or just a cheap shot, do not EVER think about it. You do not want to get paranoid and most certainly not want to start obsessing about what people think of you. Deep down you need to be confident and maybe it's wrong but it could help to think about how insecure the other person probably is, but just keep that part to yourself ;)

P.s 2 years is not how long it took me to do it, but approximately how long it took to figure it out. Once you know, which now you should, it should happen as soon as possible

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Apr 16, 2011, 11:48AM PDT | 0 comments | 9 cheers