How I did it: Ran the 2012 Spartan Race on Saturday and it was easily one of the most grueling and humbling treks I've taken in recent years.  My prep and training amounted to very little since the course was so winding and the obstacles so diverse.  Running the Warrior Dash last year was just a warm up to this kick-you-in-the-ass and knee-you-in-the-balls course.  I ended up drained and exhausted and bloodied on every extremity.  I had red mud and horse poo wedged into every seam and crevice of my person.  I looked a fright and felt it after crossing the finish line.  But I crossed.  I got my t-shirt and medal and banana and tepid, watery beer.  Victory is not necessarily sweet, but quitting would have been too sour to swallow.

I ran in a 1:30 pm wave with about 60 other people, and there were all types: superfit dudes with coconut shoulders and slabs of meat for chests and superfit girls with lean, solid waists and buns you could bounce a quarter off of; heavy, overweight men and women; thin runner types and beefy jock types; guys with war paint and girls with bunny ears... atheletes and nerds and kids and couples and teams... it was a truely class-less group.  Together we jumped walls and scaled ropes and belly-crawled through mud and grime under barbwire; we hauled sandbags and concrete blocks; threw javelins and stumbled along flooded creeks and horse trials; traversed monkey bars and climbing walls and cargo containers and tunnels and God I can't even remember what else, just that it was a lot and if there was an obstacle you couldn't conquer you could buy your way out by doing 30 burpees.  If there is a course or obstacle you can think of, they have probably one-upped you by the time you recover from the last slice of steaming Hell with whipped cream you just went through.  But they could only challenge us.  They could not break us.  Not those of us who were true Spartans, anyway.

Next year?  Sure, why not?  Who wants to die a forgotten old man in bed, when he can die gloriously face down in horse crap and mud and be remembered in song and legend forever?

Ahh-HUH!

Lessons & tips:

* If you haven't done it, you can't know what to expect.  They change the course every year.  Just try to be fit, limber, and ready for anything. 

* Keep laughing.  People who are taking this all seriously are kinda scary.

* Interestingly, the more burpees you can do, the less you will _have_ to do.

* Don't take or wear anything of value.

* Love the mud.  Become one with the mud.

Resources: Primary information and inspiration on the "Spartan Race":http://www.spartanrace.com webpage.

Walmart for cheap racing gear you don't mind ruining in one run.

The gym, although a treadmill won't train you for outdoor running.  You gotta get out there and run some trails.

Support of friends and family, if you can get it.  Most people will just think you are nuts.

Reserves of stamina, strength and commitment.

Mar 12, 2012, 08:12PM PDT | 6 comments | 39 cheers