"I still don't know how I've done this, but I have."
How I did it: A very good question! Some combination of
- suffered a very great deal from over-committing at work - losing relationships, marriage, family, home, community because of the impact of my pre-occupation
- running on into big impacts on my self-esteem, self-confidence, mental and physical health...
I HAD to change!
There were lots of previous crises - loss of partner, job, house, etc, but November 2011 was probably a final turning point of some kind, with a very difficult work situation which was strongly influenced by my tendency to try to do to much with too little help.
I was VERY fortunate to have colleagues who found me a different opportunity and a different team to work with that I have been able to step into a 9-5 role within and not feel that people think I'm letting them down in any way because I'm doing a 'normal' day.
In fact, people seem very pleased with the contribution that I'm making.
Safety at last!
Lessons & tips:
- Be honest with yourself about what's happening to you and think beneath the surface about why you're motivated to behave a particular way.
- Be honest with other people about what isn't working for you and what help you need for things to be safe for you.
Resources: Books on workaholics, perfectionism.
Workaholics Anonymous, at one point, although it wasn't a major element.
Friends who put up with me going on about life! LOL
I think that until November 2011 I still believed that succeeding was still, on some level, about trying to the absolute limits rather than putting in the best contribution you can and trusting the other people around you to make the balance of the contribution needed, and that it would all work out if I just went home on time.
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