How to live my own life and keep work in it's place by Dawn Treader

"I still don't know how I've done this, but I have."

How I did it: A very good question! Some combination of 

  • suffered a very great deal from over-committing at work - losing relationships, marriage, family, home, community because of the impact of my pre-occupation
  • running on into big impacts on my self-esteem, self-confidence, mental and physical health... 

I HAD to change! 
There were lots of previous crises - loss of partner, job, house, etc, but November 2011 was probably a final turning point of some kind, with a very difficult work situation which was strongly influenced by my tendency to try to do to much with too little help.
I was VERY fortunate to have colleagues who found me a different opportunity and a different team to work with that I have been able to step into a 9-5 role within and not feel that people think I'm letting them down in any way because I'm doing a 'normal' day.
In fact, people seem very pleased with the contribution that I'm making.
Safety at last!

Lessons & tips:

  • Be honest with yourself about what's happening to you and think beneath the surface about why you're motivated to behave a particular way.
    • Be honest with other people about what isn't working for you and what help you need for things to be safe for you.  

    Resources: Books on workaholics, perfectionism.

    Workaholics Anonymous, at one point, although it wasn't a major element.
    Friends who put up with me going on about life! LOL   

    I think that until November 2011 I still believed that succeeding was still, on some level, about trying to the absolute limits rather than putting in the best contribution you can and trusting the other people around you to make the balance of the contribution needed, and that it would all work out if I just went home on time. 


    1 person found this helpful
     

    Apr 26, 2012, 04:53AM PDT | 2 comments | 10 cheers


    Comments:

    candiedsky remember last summer when we had the chance

    Honesty is the best policy

    If you can’t be honest with what’s really happening and what’s right in front of you, you may never accept change in your life. Or something like that… very thoroughly written!

    Apr 26, 2012, 06:28AM PDT | Thread | Respond to this

    Dawn Treader New Idea: Organise my goals using Maslow's hierarchy of needs

    The thing is...

    That the statement seems really really obvious when you say it like that, and when you’ve come to accept it and fully live it. Who wouldn’t agree with “Honesty is the best policy”?
    And yet many of us are raised to put the best shine possible on what we can do and how. It’s what’s needed in a competitive world, or so we think. But actually, people value reliability. And reliability is based on say what you’ll do and do what you say. (and don’t say any mire than you can do!!!).

    Apr 26, 2012, 06:33AM PDT | Respond to this


    Dawn Treader has gotten 10 cheers on this entry.

     

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