How I did it: If you would have asked anyone that knew me a year ago what they thought of me, the likely answer would have been something along the lines of "she's really nice and friendly", which is merely code word for "she's a doormat".  Possessing a disposition that revolved around a combination of wanting to be liked and trying to avoid confrontation, I had rather accidentally allowed everyone around me to treat me as anything but an equal.
Fast-forward a year later.  With a little advice from my mother and 2 failed relationships, I arrived at the conviction that to be respected and yes, sometimes confrontational, beat the hell out of being passive.  It's scary and often difficult at first, but by reminding yourself that you are, in fact, in control of situations, expressing yourself becomes more about respect than popularity.  It is, after all, your god-given right to be respected.

Lessons & tips: Here is a list of things to remind yourself of on a daily basis:

1. When considering the potential consequences of confronting someone about the way they have been treating you, ask yourself "what is the worst that could happen".  Odds are, it can't be worse than the present status quo.
2. Who gives _____ the right to treat me this way?  You do, so if you don't like it, change it!
3. Be an active agent in your own life, you possess the ability to make change.
4. No one can know how you feel without you telling them.

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Dec 14, 2008, 01:33PM PST | 2 comments | 20 cheers