How I did it: My boyfriend of almost two years & I have had our brief breakups in the past, and I've always handled them poorly (in my opinion). The last time we separated, however; was much more serious and devastating than ever, yet I was still in love with him (duh) and determined to win him back. I decided to treat this breakup differently than I had the others, and possibly the outcome would be different. I did my best to refrain from appearing too needy, which really caught his attention. I focused on myself with personal projects and taking charge of my health by losing weight. I began to appreciate myself in a new way, wanting the best for myself.I prayed for guidance every day, and any time I missed him, which was almost all the time :) After about a month, we decided to take a few days to think "long and hard" about whether it was best to stay together or move on. Skipping ahead, we happily chose to continue our relationship. I know the time apart was necessary for both of us to grow in certain areas of our lives, and we're looking forward more confidently to our future together.

Lessons & tips: I don't think I handled the breakup as well as I could have, but things I found most effective were not appearing needy/clingy, working on my relationship with myself, and, though it was painful, allowing myself to slowly move on, little by little just in case it would have been the end for us. I refused to place my sense of personal worth on whether I had a boyfriend or not. I knew more than anything that this was an opportunity for me to love myself, and I couldn't miss it. Getting involved with the things YOU love to do (and that you may not do so much anymore because of all the time consumed in your then-partner) is a great, fulfilling experience of personal discovery/re-discovery. Also, on a less serious note, PLEASE avoid romantic movies of any kind! LOL. You will think of him/her the whole time and that's only the beginning :) 

Dec 18, 2008, 12:25AM PST | 5 comments | 3 cheers