How I did it: I began thinking before I spoke.  Was I angry, sad, or what?  Was it a minor inconvenience?  And most importantly...was it my fault?  I still complain (don't we all), but I've turned it on its head.  Instead of just saying something like "I'm bored," I've begun saying things like "I'm looking for something to do." and then offering suggestions (take a walk, make sidewalk-chalk masterpieces, etc).

If I'm in pain, I don't need to be an annoyance to others.  I've found that people are actually more willing to help me out when I don't complain.  Though that gets kind of annoying...I hate being waited on if I'm functional.

Lessons & tips: Basically, it just comes down to "Can I rectify this myself?"  If the answer is "yes," then don't complain.  Instead, offer potential solutions to anybody who will listen.  If you have worked to fix something, and it's not working, or others aren't cooperating, that's when complaining can become helpful.

If you cannot rectify a situation, then you HAVE to complain.  However, do not over-complain.  Do not whine.  If you're in pain, tell somebody you're in pain.  Don't keep going on about it though.  If you suffer in silence, people respect you  more, and will want to help you through it.  If you make everybody share your pain, you'll turn into the boy who cried wolf, and people will learn to tune you out.

If you have bad service, let somebody know.  But offer constructive criticism.  Instead of saying "That waiter was horrible!" mention precisely what he did that displeased you.  Did he not come back to see if you wanted another drink?  Did he stick around so long that you did not have a chance to enjoy your meal or conversation with your friends/family? 

Be specific, but be concise.  We need to know how we can make things better.  We don't need to know how much your life sucks.

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Dec 19, 2008, 11:50AM PST | 1 comment | 5 cheers