Many, many, many people believe in the fairytale of Happily ever after or are just misguided in the ideas of love or romance. they do not fully understand the enormity of the potential pitfall labeled as expectations. Those you may have of yourself, your spouse, and of the illusion that you may have of what marriage actually is. LOVE is an action, not a verb. meaning you “do” love and show love by your “behavior” of and towards your spouse NOT as a result of what they do or do not do. Saying I love you is easy, which is why so many get caught of in the so called romance of it and the party planning of it as Dr Phil describes it, spending more time on the color and style and details of the “event” than on the details of the person to whom you pledge your love to. And after the ceremony both are left feeling “now what”? Like they passed go and get to collect $200. The wedding is not the prize of the game, it’s the beginning of a lifetime that takes daily work. This has been referred to by others, as like tending a garden. If your not careful weeds grow, things die, expectations become unreasonable and often unspoken and contempt, misery, complacency become the norm and thankfulness and gratitude disappear. Knowing what you want and verbalizing it are 3 different things: what you think – how and what you actually said – what the other person perceived or understood. Gary Smalley said if individually you are taking action to do little things that make life easier for your spouse and paying attention to things that make your spouse happy and your spouse is so the same in return your both getting what you need and want. Happiness. To be happy: you must “think” happy, “live” happy and “believe” you are happy. If you tell yourself everyday you are happy especially when you feel sad, one day you will realize you have become happy.