How I did it: I saved for many months...bit the bullet, kept things kosher, let the kids slowly get used to him not being around, began to fill my life without him. Finally, used two situations which seemed to have no way out and used them to slide to the side and take a different route I had not envisioned. I moved away..about 90 miles north where there is cheaper housing but still close to the city if I need it on occasion..broke up with the guy, now making ends meet nicely in a lower cost of living town, with a lake down the street to boot, a great man in my life (dating outside my "usual type" to avoid those mistakes again), great neighborhood for the kids, and I am back in school.That ex still comes around to rattle my cage..believe it or not..he still proposed on occasion until recently....but i feel so good about being alone on my own..and even being able to on occasion feel good enough to shovel the snow off my own walk way without resenting someone who didn't care. I am loving my life. I simply looked at the facts, and what i wanted from my life and looked to see where those facts and that life intersected and moved there and changed my life to that intersection.

Lessons & tips: Detach. Go where it is easier and feels better. Don't stick to a plan just because. If something is to hard, find a different route...Detouring is okay, as long as you keep the goal in sight.

Resources: Reading. Friends. Web Research. Writing down the bad of every day and the good and the opportunities. Writing it down makes decisions easier. Emotion is a blinder.

Dec 30, 2008, 07:28PM PST | 0 comments | 3 cheers