"It is now over."
How I did it: I was hornswaggled by a (then) charming young man who found me on the Internet and was intimidated to woo me.
How do I know he was? He told me that he took about a week writing drafts (over and over) of an e-mail to send to me.
Once he did and I got the message, I was completely flabbergasted because I THOUGHT I had deleted all my online dating "profiles".
You see, previously, I had spent about a year going on dates with men I had met online, after which, I decided to call it quits, because the only men I kept attracting were either a) stoners, b) older skeez-buckets, c) young bucks who sported many piercings yet were only one-dimensional, or d) free-loaders.
Anyhew... charming young man was a recent transplant from Maui, Hawaii, to my home state of Minnesota (weird, I know!) in July, just a few months before 9/11. He chased me around by e-mail and then by phone and finally we agreed to meet. We were inseparable from that evening on.
Seemed we could not stop talking, going on dates and connecting (physically and mentally). It was a whirlwind and we were both swept away. In November of that same year, he proposed to me. I think he did it because he was afraid for the future more than actually being THAT much in love with me.
Long story short, it was a three year-long affair which dwindled and then ended in 2004 when I kicked him out. For the rest, you can read my damn blog, because I'm not gonna try to condense all that time into one short story, here.
Lessons & tips: I don't regret it, because I learned a lot about love and life and what NOT to do next time :)
Lower your standards for some things... like physical qualities, intelligence, and family (his or hers, not yours).
Relax more and try to see things their way sometimes.
Don't blow a gasket over dirty rolled up socks on the living room floor.
DO say "I love you" regularly (and mean it!).
Don't complain too much about them to their face.
Learn to accept them as they are and realize you won't change them (not on your own, anyway).
Resources: I can't say what helped me FALL in love, but these things sure helped me recover from the bitter breakup.
a) Booze
b) Friends
c) Brains
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Jan 03, 2009, 06:11PM PST
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