How I did it: For a long time I blamed others for my unhappiness and made excuses for my bad behavior. I justified being dishonest by telling myself that I just didn't want to hurt others but in reality I didn't want to accept the consequences for my actions. It took an important relationship in my life to be in jepordy for me to realize that I needed to change. It wasn't easy though. Like any bad habit it took a long time for me to stop.  But I tried to keep myself accountable by making sure I really thought about what I was going to say before blurting out whatever came into my head-even if it meant owning negative things about myself. Slowly I realized that my relationships grew deeper and in the process realized that I didn't have to pretend to be perfect. I just had to be honest about who I am and what my motivations are. And I am much happier for it.

Lessons & tips: Think carefully about your motivations. Don't lie just to make yourself look good. It will surely backfire.

"White lies" are a myth. Every lie is still a lie.

Don't trick yourself into thinking that being dishonest will spare someones feelings. Truth will benefit them far more. Use tact and you will find that you never have to twist the truth.

Make a list of the benefits of being honest. Trust me, there are many.

Don't give up! No one is perfect. Use your mistakes as a training tool.

Being dishonest isn't simply telling lies. Being someone you're not or presenting a "false you" to others is a form of dishonesty. Be you. It's much more flattering and a whole lot easier. 

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Jan 07, 2009, 09:49PM PST | 0 comments | 4 cheers