How I did it: I've lived an unconventional life - through no choices of my own - and overcame a lot of circumstances to become who I am today, a college educated 25 year old girl supporting herself. I dealt with abuse, neglect, heartache, mentally ill parents, foster care, adoption...my life's been a difficult road. For a long time, I never accepted that those hardships made me a better person, though. I never thought about the strength it would give me, only the pain. I don't talk to people about my situations very often, or only in very vauge terms, but when I met an incredible man who showed me how truly loving and loyal people can be, I told him. His response was breathtaking as he told me that I was the person he looked up to most and later, after he'd known me for years, he told me that I was and had been his role model. I denied that I could be anyone's role model, but he insists that I am his. He's such an incredible person, though, that he probably doesn't realize that he's my role model, too!
 
So, how did I do it? I didn't let negative circumstances dictate my life to me. Sure, I feel bitter and angry about some things sometimes when I wake up in the morning, but then I think about some of my fellow foster children who weren't able to navigate early adulthood and are now either drug addicted or homeless. Or I think about the life my biological mother led. I try to focus on the positive. I work very hard. I pay my bills. I try to be a great friend. I make an effort to become the woman I want to be every day, actively. Those are the things he says make me his role model.    

Lessons & tips: Bad things are going to happen that have nothing to do with you yet affect you greatly. Learn to roll with the punches and change what you can and work with what you can't. To quote Kanye West, you can live through anything if Magic made it.

Resources: Therapy helped me deal with some of my past issues.
Exercise can be a great form of release.
Build a strong group of friends.
Do not accept second best in significant others. They must support you, love you, and maybe most importantly, know who you truly are. My SO knows how truly broken I am sometimes, and loves me through it all.

Jan 07, 2009, 10:42PM PST | 0 comments | 1 cheer