How I did it: I stuck it out for a long time waiting to feel better but that really didnt work! so i started just laying in bed with lots of hot chocolate some good music on and a lot of crying! That made me start feeling better ( i no crying doesnt sound better, it really was) but it didnt last, if the smallest thing went wrong i would just fall into depression again! after a while i decided what the hell am i doing im still in school and im wasting my life, i had hardly any friends my grades were not good! one day i just thaught i dont want to be like this anymore, i want to feel normal! and being me i did not stick to it at first! But i gradually started adding small things to my life like setting targets of how many people i had to smile at each day! when you think about targets of smiling you realise how much you dont really do it! and every morning i get up 20 minutes earlyer to make me look better because that makes me feel better, and to make sure i ate a good breakfast because that lifted my spirits for the day too! It might not be the same for everyone but i really like targets, i set myself time limits to make me sort out what i didnt like in my life, like if i wasnt talkin to someone coz we had fallen out but i was too proud to start a conversation i would tell myself i had a week to at least try an have a good conversation with them! I added loads of things like this to my life and after a while i realised that i was smiling all the time and it was soo easy and that i had just let my problems go, and i dont know quite when it happened but its been quite a long time and im still just so happy!

Lessons & tips: Be your own best friend, if theres no one there to support you always know that you have yourself! it sounds crazy but when someone is making you feel bad just think in your head thet you know something that they dont, in a wierd way its like you are your base and if you are ever imbaraced of anything you know that you are always gona be there for you! its so hard to explain and im just rambling now but think of it like if you were a little kid or something and you fell over in the playground and everyone laughed, its like going home and crying to your mum and knowing that she will always be there at the end of the day as a base to fall back on! and if you have no one you have to be that for yourself!

Resources: diarys are amazing, you can pour your heart out into them and they wont ever tell.... as long as you hide them well!

Jan 20, 2009, 12:16PM PST | 2 comments | 2 cheers