How I did it: I'm not a very resentful person in general. It takes a lot to make me upset for more than a day. Yet there were a few people who I thought I could never forgive. Or, even worse: I knew it would be a part of growing up to forgive them, but the sheer thought made me cringe and filled me with disgust. How could I ever do that?

In the meantime, I moved away to build up my very own life. I managed to fix myself, to heal the wounds, to overcome a variety of mental issues (at least partly caused by one person), to pursue my dreams and to become a basically happy person. I met many different people and learned a lot. One of my most important insights was that most people are weaker than they seem. That weakness lets us make mistakes, sometimes terrible ones. And that truly forgiving doesn't require foolishness, nor love, but most of all inner strength.
One day I realized that I'd become strong enough to forgive even the person I'd hated and feared and been terrorized by most in my life. All my anger and disgust had turned into genuine pity for a deeply frustrated person that would probably never be happy.

Being free of all those bad feelings made me many imaginary pounds lighter. I'm done with my past and responsible for my own life now.

Lessons & tips: Don't rush things. Take your time being hurt, take your time being angry. Forgiveness is not a rational decision, but a feeling. Find your own way, become a strong and independent person, and it will come to you. 

Resources: Time and space. Writing and talking. Friends and self-improvement. Maybe 43things :)

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Feb 01, 2009, 07:12AM PST | 0 comments | 1 cheer