How I did it: 1.) I let people know I need them & appreciate what I need them for. (My stylist, for my hair, which is part of why I'm so damn hot! *lol*, My ink artist, for his skill with his medium that allows me to express myself in a unique way, etc...) Give up or get help: I prefer to get help & thank those who help me!!!

2.) Create & Revisit Memories

I make sure each of my close friends & I have a unique memory to hold special. With anyone else that memory is meaningless, but with them all I have to do is mention it, and vice versa for them to me, & we remember that trials are passing & joy is forever, espcially if shared. My husband & I constantly seek to make memories worthy of telling our grandkids so they think we lived awesomely amazing lives. So far, this has led us from courting, engaged on the top of the Peace Tower, married with a mohawk, (all in 12 weeks) going waterfall climbing with our pet rabbit who came with, to living like pioneers in a cabin for a year during the worst winter since 1960 in our province. And that was just the first year...

3.) Treat others as if they are already all that they have the potential to be, not as they are this moment. This is called seeing with love's eyes. Love always sees the best & covers the worst. People already know what they need to work on & what isn't working about them. They need to be reminded much more of how amazing they are & how wonderful they are. Give them a reputation they can feel empowered by.

4.) Share secrets.

Lots of my friends & I have inside jokes that no one gets. It makes encouraging really simple...sometimes you only need a good laugh...& who better to share one with than someone you made a memory with? Especially if no one but the two or three of you get the joke. This makes it more funny/special/meaningful.

5.) Do something for them that they can't do for themselves. Like cook them a meal if they're really busy. I personally knit my friends or sew them all gifts once in awhile if they're blue or going through a hard time. I have one friend who always gets a different gift from me every time I see her. She hasn't any one to understand, and even though I don't sometimes, she's told me just the act of getting a gift that speaks to something she's interested in or needs help in or to comfort is something that means a lot to her & helps her.

6.) Find the key to thier happiness

For some of my friends, it's a specific color. I will write all my one friend's notes in purple or give her purple random stuff, one time it was a bookmark. One of my freinds likes anything fuzzy. One of them loves socks. Whatever it is, no matter how dumb or small...just knowing someone thinks of you & puts time into getting something to make you smile, means the world.

7.) Practice A+ treatment!

At least once in any conversation I have with my friends or with people I have relationships with I will say somethign encouraging, whether congratulating them, or saying I know that they can do whatever they are working on, or saying I'm proud of them or something like that. Also, I always try to give them my full attention, to affirm them (I believe in you statment), & appreciate them (I'm grateful statement.).

8.) As I've mentioned a billion times already, I write notes!! Silly notes, rhyming notes, how are you notes, i'm praying for you, i love you, whatever kind. Just to make them smile & let them know I though of them. My mother in love (not law. *lol*) I always have this squirrel thing with, so we pass along anything cards, cartoons, articles, whatever, funny stuff, about squirrels to each other.

Lessons & tips: Friends are like peanut butter...get enough nuts together & you can make something stick! Our lives are marked by the people we leave an impression on...leave a good one.

Resources: Coffee Cup Counselling by David Woodroffe
McFathead blog
Camp "Encouragement" mailboxes
Friends who encouraged me along the way

Feb 24, 2009, 07:36AM PST | 0 comments