How I did it: It seemed like we were off to a rocky start with our marriage, but instead we learned to make conflict productive. When we were dating, we would have fights that seemed like they were pointless and just made us mad. Now I usually come out of a disagreement feeling closer and more affectionate. A lot of it was treating his depression and getting him to take better care of himself.

Lessons & tips: When you're not at odds, make up a list of rules for fair fighting.

Don't just say everything you think and have mental diarrhea. Some things are better kept to yourself and would hurt the other person too much.

It's ok to reflect on past relationships to point out what's good in this one. You're talking about your experience with romantic relationships in the past and it shouldn't be weird.

You have to understand the enormity of a commitment you make when you get married -- because you have to stick to it.

Mar 15, 2009, 06:50AM PDT | 0 comments | 3 cheers