I know exactly how you must feel about this, when both of my grandparents passed away and I ended up learning more about them during their funeral than when they were alive, I beat myself up about it for a long time but, maybe you should look at this event as a start to change/improve the relationships you still have…do you want to be a better neighbor, sister/brother, mother/father, etc. etc. good luck!!!

My aunt on my biological mother’s side was dianosed with cancer. The doctors gave her two years to live if she took the treatments, but she was too far gone for a fully recovery from it. Cancer had gotten the best of her. Death was in the end for her. I told myself that I was going to go and meet her, get to know her and spend time with her before she passed. (my parents divorced and my bio-mom hauled butt back to NY and I never knew her side of her family until about 10 years ago when our grandmother found us). Well, her treatments were making her feel too sick and she wrote me to let me know that she was stopping them, that she couldn’t go on feeling like she was. She died 6 months after being dianosed and I never got to meet her. I just kept putting off going there, told myself “next time” and “I’ll see her soon, just not right now”. I regret it so much, now I’ll never have the chance. I do still plan to go to NY and meet the rest of my family and while I’m there, I will stop by her grave and spend some time there. Leave her some flowers, maybe a letter/card and say some things to her that I had wanted too before.

Your grandparents may have passed, but that doesn’t mean you can’t visit them at their gravesites.