How I did it: Before labor began, I did my best to stay active. I took long walks, rode my bike, and did a prenatal workout 1-3 times per week. I read a bunch about labor and delivery, had long conversations with my husband, and hired a doula. Hubby, who was very active in reading about this with me, was incredibly supportive of my decision to avoid drugs if possible. We had a code word, "Rubik's Cube," so if my labor got too painful, I could use it, and he would know that I really needed pain meds. (The reason for the choice: those things frustrate me to no end, and if I needed meds, then I was truly at the end of my rope.)

When the big day came, I labored at home from 2:30 a.m. until about 1p.m.  During the early hours, I sat at the computer doing last minute work and timing contractions. I got hubby up at 5:30 a.m. when contractions were pretty steady at 5 minutes apart. (We live very close to the hospital, so Doc wanted me to go in when they were about 3 minutes apart.)  At about 9 a.m., we took a walk after checking in with the doula. Then we went out and ran errands! I checked out some books at the library and hubby went to the grocery store.

I laid down after eating some toast, and the doula arrived while I was in bed. After I got up, the contractions doubled in strength and were suddenly 1-2 minutes apart. Off to the hospital we went, about 1 p.m.

At the hospital, they checked me in at 8 cm! Those last two centimeters were hard, and I used the whirlpool, which was wonderful. It made the contractions have a longer build-up and let down, but shorter peak.  During the contractions, I squeezed my hubby and doula's hands, tapped my foot, and grunted/panted.

While in the whirlpool, I had the urge to push, so they got me back to my room. My water broke just after the nurse determined I was at 10 cm. Doctor came in, and I pushed for about 40-60 minutes. And there was my little girl.  Hubby sat behind me the whole time, offering support, encouragement, helping me relax between contractions and pushing.

I will be honest...I didn't think labor and delivery hurt very much. It was the hardest thing I'd ever done, but it was more about stamina, endurance and mindset than pain. And I hurt something awful afterward. It is like running a marathon...if you prepare for it, plan for it, and understand that there is a finish line, then you can realize that it is pain/pressure with a goal. It is all about your muscles working overtime.

Lessons & tips: One of the biggest lessons I learned from my reading was the difference between pain and suffering. You can be in physical pain, but not be suffering, like when you are exercising hard. You can also be suffering without physical pain, like when you lose a loved one. One is physical, one is mental. When in labor, think "am I suffering, or am I just in pain?" Labor is pain with a purpose, and if you aren't suffering, than you can probably get by without drugs. That being said, some tips.

Before Labor Begins:

• Stay active. Walking, biking, swimming, prenatal yoga, will all help prepare your body.
• Do your kegels. And practice abdominal contractions while relaxing your pelvic floor, something you will need to do when you push.
• Read books on labor and delivery so you know what to expect. It is okay to be a little scared, but then take a deep breath and tell yourself you can do it.
• Talk openly and honestly with your partner/birth coach. Tell them what drives you crazy, and what you think works for you. Tell them what your feelings are on medications. (Will take them if you think they are needed, totally don't want them, somewhere in between.)
• Positive attitude is everything. Don't worry about how it will go.
• Line up two support people (your partner, mother, doula, etc.). That way, if one needs to go to the bathroom or get the nurse, the other stays with you. Not ever being alone is a huge help.
• Write a birth plan/preferences. Share this with your doctor, your support people, and the facility where you will give birth before the big day. Talk things over to make sure they know what is most important to you.
• Encourage your support person/people to educate him/herself on labor and delivery, comfort measures, etc., so they aren't going in blind. (Great book for this in the next section.)

After Labor Begins

• Stay calm. 
• Rest when you can in the early stages. You might not sleep, but if you can conserve your energy, it is helpful.
• Drink water/fluids to stay hydrated. This is a marathon, taking place in your abs.
• Focus on what you need to do for this contraction, not the next one.
• Stay active (again) like walking and moving around. Relax, and breathe. Distract yourself in the early stages.
• Stay at home, where you are comfortable, as long as possible. If you have to go to the hospital earlier, make sure you still have the ability to move around your room, the hallways, etc.
• Use the whirlpool, but wait until later in labor, after 5-6 cm.
• Don't be afraid to make noise or ask for water, and make your support people/nurses wait on you.
• Tell your support people that if you ask for medication during a contraction, to wait and ask you again between contractions. You may ask for something in the peak of a contraction, but if asked between, you'll decide you don't want it. (This is why I had a code word.)
• Consider hiring a doula, or having a woman who has experienced labor in the room with you, one that you like and will stay positive.

Resources:

• Book: The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin. I wish I had read this MONTHS before I actually did. It was the most helpful book by far, telling me things about labor and delivery that no other book did. It is designed for your partner/coach, but incredibly helpful for you, too. (Definitely have your partner/coach read it as well.)

Other books I read: "What to Expect when you're Expecting" and "The Mother of All Pregnancy Books."

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May 10, 2009, 12:49PM PDT | 1 comment | 4 cheers