How to come out to my parents
How I did it: I've always viewed sexuality as fluid. But I was raised in a strict Southern Baptist home for the majority of my life. "Gay" wasn't normal in their eyes and when I realized I'd fallen in love with another girl, coming out to my parents terrified me more than anything on earth. It was around the time I'd started college which is when my step-brother had also came out to my parents. My step-brother who hadn't been home in nearly 7 years, mind you, because of their opinion of him and his lifestyle.
For several years everyone knew, everyone except my parents (who had also been suspicious for a long time) and the guilt of my siblings and friends lying for me began to deepen. I had to do it. Fear had ruled my life for too long. You come to a point where you realize that hiding who you really are is living your life completely for someone else. Who you are is beautiful - Love in any form is beautiful and it shouldn't be hidden. It should be embraced and nurtured.
And then one night I did it. All the planning I'd done try to reconcile their feelings sort of went out the window. I knew I couldn't change their beliefs (though I have a slightly different opinion on Christianity and the gay community). And at that moment I felt the weight of the entire world lift from my shoulders. I could love and be loved for who I was without fearing I wasn't good enough in their eyes. I knew it would be a tough road ahead but at least I'd started that journey. Of course it wasn't what they wanted to hear but over a short (surprisingly short) period of time they grew to accept me in their own way. They have since grown to love the love of my life, too, and embrace her as part of the family.
I could not be happier.
Lessons & tips: You know your parents better than anyone. Take the time to study them and how they view the issue. While a parent may be completely supportive to the gay community on the outside, it's usually always slightly different when it's your own child. It's the fear that your child is going to live a hard life of discrimination.
Just take your time and feel them out. If it's possible, talk to someone (a family member, a friend) close to them and seek their advice on how to handle the situation. Support is INCREDIBLY helpful during this time. But once you get the opportunity, swallow your fear and realize that they are your parents. They will always love you. Time heals but the truth opens doors. You shouldn't feel trapped into fearing who you are.
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