How to get a VCH piercing
How I did it: When I was approached about having my clitoral hood pierced, I jumped on the opportunity without taking even a second to think about what agreeing to this project would entail. My blind ambition to be a takes-no-prisoners sex writer took me completely over and I emphatically replied, "Fuck yes!"
Four weeks later and still no hole in my hood.
I was waiting for the right time. The right piercer. The cash. But when the chips all fell into place, I was left in a glass case of emotion and nowhere to go but Virtue & Vice.
Some of you in the Twitter realm may have seen me mention Rockerboy, the code name for the gentleman who has the pleasure of loosely and quietly claiming me for the next however-long. Because Rockerboy lives in Atlanta, I was delighted to find out that the closest of the five piercers highly recommended by Elayne Angel (the premier genital piercer in the WORLD) worked in a shop called Virtue & Vice in town. I could use the piercing (and some other friends) as a decent excuse to get down there and mess around with him; the way I figured it, if I'm going to be out of commission entirely for at least a week, my crazy hornball self needed to get some good lovin' in beforehand to prepare.
I stayed the night in town on Friday and barely thought about getting pierced the next day. It occurred to me while in the embrace of the hot musician that he'd be the last to see m'lady sans jewelry, but that was it. After sleeping for three hours and grabbing coffee and a muffin, I woke up the boy. I hadn't planned on asking him to come with me. I mean, I was supposed to be a badass. This was supposed to be a breeze. And he had shit to attend to anyway in preparation for a gig that night. Still, I realized that I was a) in a city with which I am relatively unfamiliar, b) prone to fainting and c) fucking anxious as all hell, so I asked. He obliged. I'm not sure why this surprised me.
We hopped in the car and rode to Virtue & Vice. When we walked in, the shop was clean, quiet and uncrowded. Glass cases of jewelry lined the walls and there were church pews for seating the in foyer. I walked to the center desk. "I'm here to get a VCH done by Bethra."
Now's the time to tell you exactly what I was having done. Forgive me if I have not done a good job educating you about vulvular anatomy, for perhaps try to forgive yourself for never bothering to learn on your own, but look this shit up in you're uninitiated. VCH, or Vertical Clitoral Hood, means that I was going to have one piercing entry through the front and center of my clitoral hood, the flap that covered the clitoris and protects it. A barbell or ring could be inserted, and the friction of the jewelry would provide more intense sexual stimulation.
I'd spent the last four weeks reading and reading and reading: horror stories, message board responses, aftercare directions, true tales of Hoodie Club members. And despite having read about eight hundred times that the piercing hurt intensely for a few seconds, then subsided and healed INSANELY quickly, I was understandably nervous. So when the girl behind the counter said, "Oh, Bethra doesn't work on Saturdays. You'll have to come back tomorrow. Of course, there is a guest piercer here today if you want to consider that."
I panicked. I'd driven 150 miles, waited four weeks, and summon the courage--and I was going to have to come back. Who knew when I'd be able to get back down to Atlanta!
Rockerboy piped up quickly: "Stay another night." He made the excellent point that I'd come this far to be pierced by someone recommended by someone I trust, someone whom the entire body modification world trusts. And what was another night? What did I have to get back to Greenville for, really?
I stopped to think. On the other hand, he was playing a show in another state that night, and the thought of staying at his house while he went to play was unnerving. "If I stay here, I want to go with you to the gig."
"Done," he said, and we headed for the door.
Hours later I was en route to Alabama (by the by, that's a different time zone. Yep. Seriously. I didn't figure that out until I'd been in the state for like five hours.) After a whirlwind of firecrackers, booze, and guitar solos, we headed back to Atlanta, arriving home exactly twelve hours after we'd departed. Three more hours of spine-cracking sex later and I was asleep. This is a good time to mention that, in the forty-eight hours I was in ATL, I spent more time fucking this man that I spent sleeping, and I highly recommend this. Sleep depravation, I believe, is what made me so calm the day of the piercing.
As we returned to Virtue & Vice, I noticed that I was starting to become anxious again. I tried to rationalize it aloud to Rockerboy. "OK let me talk through this. I'm going to punch a hole in my clitoral hood. This is comparable to an earlobe piercing, but it is even less tissue to pierce. You can see through the shit. Why am I so freaked out? Is it purely because of placement?" Rockerboy was quiet and let me talk at him without trying to get me to calm down. He knew I was calming myself down, and he knew he'd do an even better job when we actually got there and felt the pressure.
I was so relieved upon seeing Bethra behind the counter when we walked back into Virtue & Vice. I'd seen here photo on the shop's website and I could've kissed her I was so happy she was there. I told her what I was there for and she told me that I would need to have a consultation to discuss whether or not I was piercable If my clitoral hood was not anatomically suitable to the piercing I would not be able to go through with it. She led me into an enclosed room with a table. Rockerboy followed and sort of assisted both of us: "Hold my shoes?"/"Can you hand Margaret that mirror?" etc. Bethra explained to me that while I was "little," meaning that I have a relatively small clitoral hood, I was piercable. She asked Rockerboy to hand me a mirror and I held it between my legs so she could show me what she was talking about as she told me the details of the piercing , the effects, aesthetics, etc. She then recommended a ring as opposed to a curved barbell, something I had not once considered. I thought the rings looked clunky, but when she explained the physics of what would happen specifically to my anatomy, I was sold.
We went back to the front to select my jewelry. I assumed I would be selecting the plain, silver captive bead ring, but Bethra encouraged me to look at some on sale. I immediately locked eyes on a pink ring with a silver bead. I looked at Rockerboy, he grinned, and Bethra took it back to the sterilized. We sat down in the foyer and she explained aftercare and told me a little about hat to expect. We asked about sexual precautions (wear a condom, no oral, stop if it hurts. Which we're choosing to translate to "Wear a condom most of the time, no oral without Listerine first, and if it hurts and you don't LIKE it, stop.)* and healing time (officially 6-8 weeks, but I've never heard or read about anyone taking longer than two.)
After we were satisfied that we'd asked all our questions, Bethra led us back into the room from my earlier consultation. I took my shoes off, lay down on the table, and braced my feet against her thighs. She asked me to start breathing deeply. I did, but I had to close my eyes. I could feel her pacing the needle receiving tube under my clitoral hood. I didn't ask Rockerboy to hold my hand. Feeling him grab it anyway was a genuinely startling sensation, one of the kindest comfort. He stroked my wrist and Bethra told me to breathe very deeply in, and then exhale very hard. In that breath, she pushed the needle through. I don't know what I said, I'm sure I cursed, probably took the Lord's name in vain, etc. The pain was intense but brief, and ended shortly after the jewelry was inserted. When she was finished, Bethra had Rockerboy hand me the mirror again and I saw it.
I immediately loved it.
* I AM NOT RECOMMENDING THAT YOU DISREGARD AFTERCARE INSTRUCTIONS. But I am being honest in saying this is what we'll be doing.
Lessons & tips: Find a piercer recommended by Elayne Angel. Never go to a shop you don't feel comfortable in. Take heed to your piercer's advice regarding your anatomy. Drink some soda or juice before hand to get your blood sugar up. DO not get stoned before going.
Resources: BMEzine.com
