How I did it: The first thoughts that girls might be it appeared when I was 16. I discarded them first, wondering when Mr. Right would appear. When I was 20, I had that sudden insight that there's no right or wrong order of sexual experiences and I found myself ready to open up to my feelings. I went to some gay parties and 2 months later I had my first girlfriend ;)
My parents were accepting and helpful and my brother wasn't surprised at all. Since I was making new friends at that time, all of them were accepting.

I had some issues with the lesbian scene. I refuse to categorize myself as masculine or feminine, and I defy clichés, so I felt very lonely sometimes. Several years ago, I claimed my independence and it was a VERY good thing. It made me much more open, outgoing and daring.

Today, being queer is one facet of my identity, one among others.

Lessons & tips:

• There's absolutely no obligation to be out. You can choose who you are open with. If you're not living in an accepting environment, it's absolutely right to mind your safety.
• Don't spend all your time with gay people only. This can result in a narrowed horizon and another kind of cliché-heavy ghetto.
• Stay yourself. This new facet of your identity will force you to think over many things you took for granted (religion, politics, family planning...) and will have a strong influence at first. But it is not your whole identity. Give it a chance to balance over the years.
• Be prepared for the unexpected. People of whom you never expected it may be hurtful, but more from whom you never thought it may be warmly accepting you. 
• Coming out is never over, especially if you don't "look like a lesbian/a gay man". People are constantly making assumptions, among them the assumption that you are heterosexual. There's no need to correct them every time, I do that only when it's relevant.

Resources:

• Friends, especially gay ones. It was very helpful to me to have gay friends.

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Jun 28, 06:40AM PDT | 1 comment | 9 cheers