How I did it: I decided to redo my story because I felt my previous wasn't as in depth and it deserves more because this goal was very special to me. So here it goes:

My boyfriend and I got together back in 2008, which was during a tough time in my life. My father was sexually abusing me at home and as a result I always threw my anger and frustration onto him. The thing is, to other people I was also known as the super happy person. People described me as hyper, bubbly and all around joyful. It was people that I was so close with, that I acted so bitter and at times destructive. I've lost good friends because of how I acted. But for some reason my boyfriend stayed. I did terrible things to him, and sometimes they were even purposeful just to test the waters and see how much I could push him before he got fed up. EVEN THEN I would not apologize and give him the guilt trip. I acted like I didn't care about him, as if he were to leave it wouldn't phase me. I even tried to break up with him, but he was so hell bent on staying with me. His friends, even MINE told him to leave me. To this day, I still don't understand why he stayed neither does he, lol! But he says it was worth the wait. He told me he knew I cared about him, and he would just keep breaking down each defensive wall I had in me. I knew what I was doing to him too, it's not like I was oblivious or anything. But it still took a really long time to get that epiphany that what I was doing was useless, in fact it was just hurting myself in the end too.
I apologize for rambling on, but I really wanted to emphasize on how terrible I was (to the point where you hate me, hah!) and to let you know ladies, that you can do this. You really can.
Now another part of the reason why I decided to redo this post is because I went back on this goal to see other peoples' posts and noticed things like "i have to cook for him more". Girls do not be offended! Please this is not my intention, and this is also my opinion. But it is so much more than that (it's a plus though). It's love, affection, and just how YOU act.
When you get into arguments ladies, don't pinpoint whose at fault, skip that and just solve it. Don`t let your `heat of the moment' emotions get the better of you and make stupid things bigger than what it really is. Don't walk away and give the silent treatment expecting him to follow you like a lost puppy, and trying to solve it on his own. If it was his fault he probably feels like crap already right? And if you gotten to that point where neither of you are talking, break that silence. If you are too scared to say something, grab his hand and just give it a little squeeze or just hug him. Believe me, it works. It gives you and him the biggest relief, my boyfriend loves it.

Try your absolute best to not get mad at stupid things. I know it is hard to control! Sometimes I fall for it too, no one is perfect. But when you do, just say sorry! Or again that hand squeeze. When I get mad a stupid things I instantly regret it, and I end up apologizing like a little kid becuase I feel stupid for over reacting and my boyfriend ends up laughing because he thought it was cute, lol.

And if your boyfriend is acting stupid because he had a bad day. Be patient. Or try making him laugh. When he's like that, I make stupid funny faces and the moment I see a smirk on his face I have succeeded!

For those of you that have a hard time opening up, and end up pushing your man away: if you know this guy REALLY loves you let your relationship grow deeper. It's so worth it, really. I can't explain the feeling of it any other way but when you're at summer camp with your best friend giggling all night. Whatever it is, he wants to help you, he wants to be there for you and listen to you. Communication is key. Let him know whats on your mind, what bugs you, makes you insecure etc. You need to talk to each other, if we're not psychic they're most likely aren't either.

I'm going to end this with always reminding him how much you love him. Those sweet little random things really do matter. Boys get insecure too, so always reassure them that it's only him.

Lessons & tips: Like I said before this goal is very special to me, so I am ALWAYS willing to help you. Message me and I will be more than glad give you as much help as I can.

Here's a recap:
- always try to solve problems, avoid blaming
- try to control yourself from over reacting
- if he's upset try to make him laugh or give him space
- the "hand squeeze" lol
- don't push him away, let your relationship grow
- communication: always talk about your thoughts and feelings
- always remind him how much you love him

Resources: My own relationship

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Jul 01, 2009, 10:46AM PDT | 0 comments | 13 cheers