How I did it: Becoming a better conversationalist basically involves being very embarassed for a while. I'd keep trying to have good conversations with people, and slowly I became less and less awkward. You have to be willing to go forth and risk feeling stupid in social settings. It seems unfair that some people are better at talking than others, but it's a growing experience.

Lessons & tips: One of the problems that I had was that I either compulsive asked questions about other people, or only talked about myself. It was hard striking that delicate balance between learning information and offering it up, but both people need to add to the conversation.

Also, because I was so socially inept there were times when I would have a preplanned idea of how the conversation would go in my head, and then try to act it out with another person. That is a big no-no because the conversation usually turned out nothing like I expected, and then I looked stupid try to fit in lines from my fantasy dialogue. Just flow with the conversation. The best thing you can do is be interested in what the other person is saying, or pretend to be. Just ask some questions without making it sound like an interrogation.

Also, be patient. It takes time. And don't expect yourself to be able to talk to everyone. Some people don't want to be talked to, and sometimes you just don't have anything in common with someone. You can't win all the time.

Resources: Failure and persistence

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Jul 04, 2009, 10:17PM PDT | 1 comment | 4 cheers