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As of today, you will be able to download your goals and entries. See more about that on the FAQ page. Thanks for 10 great years of goal-setting and achieving.

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FAQ

How to trust my boyfriend


Comments:

ncrozier sick and wants to get better!

omg

I cried a little when I just read this.

I’m having such a hard time trusting my boyfriend, yet he trust me 100000%. We’ve been together for 3 years this December with a 1 year break (August to August, my decision) in between. Before the break, I trusted him as much as he continues to trust me. But because he almost asked another girl out toward this past spring that he really liked (she said it’s be a bad idea because she’s going to college), I suddenly feel like I’m not as pretty or as fun as she is and that he might wish he still had her instead of me sometimes (keeping in mind that I dated MANY more guys than he did girls). Yet he tells me every day that he loves me and I know they haven’t spoken since the end of June.

He does NOTHING to make me think he's being physically or emotionally unfaithful, yet I always feel like I'm maybe not "that great" anymore because this girl was SO gorgeous to him and he had so much fun with her.

It helped to read from another person that it takes time and patience, but that I will actually be able to trust him fully again someday because I know he deserves it.

kaylarobertson doing really well: trying really hard and VERY VERY proud of herself.

I know how you feel

Jon admitted having a crush on a girl we both know before he started dating me. This probably comes up once a week now. And girl, you’re gorgeous ;) So hush up and let him love you :p I know it’s easier said than done but you’ve gotta try a little trust.

Also, what help is worrying going to do? You have to enjoy what you have. If he wishes he had her that’s his problem and you worrying about it doesn’t do anything. You can’t do anything besides try to feel better about the situation- you’re just torturing yourself, as helpless as you feel.

I’ve made Jon into something of a counselor. He’s really good at telling me mentally healthy things that I need to hear. Try having him create a list of things that he loves about you- just you. What makes you special and what do you bring to this relationship?

If you’re not talking to him about these feelings, that’s your first step. Always the first step. If you haven’t told him that you worry he wants her back over you then ask. “If she were to come back into our lives, who would you choose?” If you can handle the answer, I think that would be a good question to ask. I’m betting he’ll say you. Additionally, that’s a hypothetical. If this helps you more- deal with the reality- she’s gone and you have him. Enjoy him!!!

Take care hon and keep me posted :) <3 You have my best wishes and I'm here if I can be of any help.

ncrozier sick and wants to get better!

The first steps

Thank you for the response, it certainly helps a lot. He and I have talked about it a dozen or more times and it frustrates him a little because he feels like I can’t trust him and he’s trying really hard, which I can understand.

Nonetheless, he always says that he’d rather I ask him these things than just keep it bottled up.

I’ve asked him to leave a party or gathering if she ended up being there (she’s sort of friends with some of his friends), and he said he would if it means that much to me- it’s “not that big of a deal” to him so he’s got no problem with it. I know he hasn’t spoken to her since June or seen her, so hopefully he doesn’t.

I talked to his best friend (also one of my best friends) about my concerns and he said Nico wouldn’t go back to her because he’s not looking anymore. I need to try to trust that too :-/

How should I go about having Nico make the list you recommended? And how did you turn your man into your own personal counselor? :-)

kaylarobertson doing really well: trying really hard and VERY VERY proud of herself.

glad

to hear you’re working on it. It can be frustrating for him but you’re worth it. And his friend is right; he’s not looking. He’s got what he wants. Just flat out ask him for the list “Nico, you know I have some trust issues and I think part of that is self-esteem. I worry so much because I worry I’m not good enough. It would mean a lot to me if, over the next few days, you just wrote down some things that are special about me as they come to you” or something.

As for making my guy into a counselor, psych is my major so a lot of times I do know what I need to hear and I’ll ask him “Hey, Jon. When I get illogical and scared half to death that I’m a terrible girlfriend can you remind me that this is just temporary and you don’t think that my worth is based on it” or something like that. He usually tries to remember and that way he knows how to help me instead of watching me freak out stumbling for words to help.

Good Luck!

ncrozier sick and wants to get better!

Fantastic

Thanks so much for your input :-) I’ll definitely ask him to do that for me and maybe I’ll do one for him. He has his insecurities too.

Being a psych major must help a lot. Thank you again! I really appreciate you taking the time to give me some advice!

kaylarobertson doing really well: trying really hard and VERY VERY proud of herself.

anytime

you need a listening ear or some heartfelt advice you know where to find me :) I hope it helps!


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