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How to judge a little less and forgive a little more by delibelly

"I got older"

How I did it: I got older.  I had a kid. I saw how hard it was. I saw how we all just try our best with what we're given.  I got work with people who are living with such painful pasts, living in poverty.  I met as many lovely people, as many people with chips on their shoulders, as I have met in my usual middle class crowd.

Lessons & tips: 1) Accept that if there is no-one inherently better than you.  Know that if that is true, then it must be that you are not inherently better than anyone else.

2) Ask yourself whether a person's lifestyle or actions are really hurting you, or are you hurting yourself with your obsession/reactions.
3) Try to see the person you are judging/trying to forgive, as a human and not a caricature.  A screwed up person, maybe.  A WRONG person, maybe.  But a person.  Turning someone into a monster in your mind only gives them power over you.  It makes them something more than what they are - which is just a human being with their own weird baggage.
4) Understand that the way people treat you has more to do with themselves, and their own issues, than it does with your actions.
5) Even if you could force someone to apologise for what they've done to you - it won't change what happened.  Only you can fix yourself.

Resources: Time.


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Jul 16, 2009, 07:35PM PDT | 0 comments | 2 cheers


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