How I did it: Well it took a lot of time and self-flaggellation.  I put my hand in the fire a lot of times and beat myself up a lot wondering what I'd done.  But eventually I found out that it wasn't just me who was an asshole.

They are assholes too.  The only thing is, that while I take responsibility for my part, they take none for theirs and I found that out first hand recently after contacting one of them to apologize.

In the long run, I wouldn't change a thing bc all those years of feeling like a jerk made me take a good look at myself and become a kinder, more principled person and for that I thank them.

Lessons & tips: Just remember that blame is a two way street.  As much as you're mad at someone else, they're mad at you right back.  You can't fix some things but you can take a look at yourself and fix what you don't like.  Take responsibility, even if it hurts, even if it feels like you didn't do anything wrong.  This only helps you to become a better person.  Then when you make new friends, just don't fall into the same traps you did before.  Set up personal boundaries and stick to them bc you're worth being respected.

Resources: Time and good old fashioned self-examination.  Also, I apologized.  Even though it wasn't accepted, I know I've done everything I can to mend the situation and I'm happy with that.

Jul 31, 2009, 02:28PM PDT | 0 comments | 1 cheer