How to swim fully clothed
How I did it: Well, it is really wrong for me to say that I wanted to do this, it is more I was forced to. In my old school they were real picky on their students ability to swim well (To keep them alive for the finals, I presume), and one of the tasks was to swim, fully clothed.
I tried everything in my power to get out of this. I faked a cold the first week, the next week I hid in the woods behind the school, the third week I did have a cold because I had hidden the previous week, but my gym teacher was strict: No swimming with clothes on = No gym grade.
So, 2 months overdue, four days before my grade was to be set, I went to the public bath/swimming pool-thingie (Why do you have so many words for such a simple thing..? We have one word!), and "dressed". They require their guests to wear swimming clothes under, and then just one layer of clothes on top. Absolutely no scarfs allowed. I jumped in to the water.
YUCK! The clothes were clinging on to me like fans to a popstar, and did nothing to stop the cold of the water chilling me to about 1 degree Kelvin. As I tried swimming, my sweater twisted and turned until I was near suffocated, and my pants were clinging on so tightly I started fearing for the safety of my future offspring.
When I finally, after the requested amount of laps, got out of the pool, my clothes were so tight, they revealed more than my bikini would have! I became very very cold, but also very very bitter soon, and I do apologize for ventilating my anger from the experience on you dear people, who were hoping to swim an enjoyable lap dressed in your nice sunday clothes. But I can say this. When my cousin and I were out on a boat trip this summer, we got shipwrecked, and had to make it a-shore somehow. Then, swimming with clothes on was actually quite enjoyable, since it isolated the heat of my body and kept me warm all the way to shore. However, I do not recommend swimming with your lunch balancing on the top of your head while dragging a near-panicking cousin. That is one goal you can omit to achieve.
Lessons & tips: Do it outdoors, and in water where you can stand on the bottom. It is a lot harder to swim with clothes on, so don't do it in waters you are not familiar with, or in too deep. Try to keep your head above the surface, because if you dive, it can result in your sweater getting wrapped around your head.
Resources: Swimming pool, clothes, bikini under the clothes, privacy from people staring at you like you're an idiot. Also, a nice comfy towel once you get up.
