How to kiss a girl
How I did it: that was our catchphrase for the entire camping trip from hell my bestfriend sara and i took. we said it all the time, but in particular when we were staying at my "girlfriend" (as sara calls her) 's house.
like when her toddler flashed us, and that moment before she and i started making out when he stroked my arm sensually.
but she put him to bed, and then...we fucked on the couch.
YES!
we were kinda wasted. in fact, yeah. i couldn't really stand up and it took me somewhere between twenty minutes and four hours to uh, finish. but, the parts i do remember were sparkly glittery magical!
...only now she won't return my texts.
whatever, i didn't love you anyway!
(...nothin' i can say, total eclipse of the heart...)
Lessons & tips: alcohol is a wonderful inhibitor for the "i dunno what i want, i really like you, but i don't want to mess things up" types.
don't get so drunk you get whisky clit.
especially because you forget all those dumb things boys do that you complain about like--that they don't tease enough (i.e. going straight for the nipple), and you do the exact same thing but attribute it to "unbridled enthusiasm."
Resources: beer.
team america world police.
