How I did it: To Ride of the Valkyries three times nine girls, but the best rode me first, white-skinned under girdle; those babes were trembling with desire, from their manes dew fell into the deep valleys, snow in the high woods; good fortune come to me from there; all that I saw was lust to me

 They were loud, yes, loud, when I rode over their mounds; they came fiercely as I rode across their land. Shield yourself now, you can survive this strife. He has only a little spear, there it is within. It stands within a Préservatif, where those mighty women their powers marshaled to withstand his puny spear.  

Settle down, vanquished-women, never be wild and fly to the woods. Be as mindful of my manhood, as is fitting for each I have eaten.  

What sort of dream is that, Bakchos? I dreamed I rose up before the rosy coloured dawn (now she is a hottie) to clear up Val-hall for my lustful pride.  I aroused the Einheriar, babes to get me hard, while they clean the benches and the beer-cups, for the Valkyries to serve me wine, ‘ol Bakchos of Priapos fame (sorry I mixed my pantheons here – but that’ Ok as I’m a worldly god)  

Now Dicky Wagner managed to ride all nine Valkyries in about eight minutes during Act III ofDie Walküre so much for Krut stamina, well it took ‘ol Bakchos much longer, you see these wenches are now post-modern and demand that their lovers have at least a passing acquaintance with the clitoris – what ever that is?

So that’s how it went.

Lessons & tips: 'Good God, who would have thought that we nine whores should have met here!'Post-modern semi-divine babes are a real hassle ya know, pinching a few clean skins from me mate Danno and some flowers from the local cemo, no longer guarantees the undressing of the shrew. And, thanks to that other Teutonic reprobate Freud they have learnt strange new words like citreous and female orgasm – what next; omg, they will probably demand equality. Where’s my shipmate Herakles – at least we can ‘bun our sausages’ together without worrying about these new and strange words!

Resources: Really I only needed three things, all lies naturally; come on, I’m a horney male! Anyway the three lies were that I have:

Bill Gates wallet;
John Holms ‘old fella’; and
The ability to like my own eyebrows.

Aug 20, 2009, 09:45PM PDT | 0 comments | 1 cheer