Congratulations
on successfully dealing with this very serious issue. And I think it is very important that you make clear you are “dealing” with depression, not “beating” or “curing” it. So much of our culture is dedicated to quick fixes and sweeping problems and vunerabilities under the rug, that many, many people don’t feel they have the strength or support to face it every day. I am glad you found both strength and support and that you weren’t too proud or fearful or embarassed to get help. Kudos to you.
depression = energy loss/debt
Thank you.
Yes, I had a healthy mind-switch when I realized depression wasn’t a fault of mine, any more than a predisposition towards alcoholism is the fault of the alcoholic. For whatever reason, this is just one of the realities of my life. I will probably have to be aware of this issue, and on guard for its dangers for the rest of my life.
When we are ashamed of our problems we tend to hide them, not deal with them. That leaves our problems with WAAAAAY too much leeway to do damage.
I am grateful that the public notion of what it means to be depressed has changed. I think people have a much better understanding now that depression isn’t the same as just being in a bad mood that you can snap out of. It is a serious mind-altering chemical imbalance that requires careful attention. Perhaps even medical or theraputic attention.
You have to be aware of how your energy is flowing, and not let too great of an energy debt build up. If you can get the energy to flow INTO your low areas instead of it always leaking outwards from there, the depression might lift rather quickly.
sabryn okay...how about a calm December?
You've put to words
something I’ve tried to express for years, and couldn’t. Depression is something I’ve had to deal with most of my life. And pretty much everyone has blown it off. I should just “get over it,” “stop wallowing” – oh, and exercise. I once swore that the next person who told me to exercise was getting smacked. When I’m depressed, I can barely eat or sleep…how in the world am I supposed to get the energy to exercise?
It’s not something I do to get attention. (In fact, the older I get, the more I try to hide it from people, because they don’t understand.) It’s nothing a pill will cure. (Believe me, I’ve tried…they do me more harm than good.) And nobody can say I didn’t give therapy a fair shake. No, this is just something I have to deal with on my own.
Your statement about energy is spot on. If I catch myself early enough in the process and divert that energy elsewhere (a book, project…anything that engages my full attention), I can usually pull myself out of it fairly quickly. If I let myself fester…well, I’m no damn fun for days, weeks, months.
Robert Fulghum (the “All I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten” guy) wrote an excellent essay on depression and attempting suicide. I reread it every now and then; it’s never failed to comfort me. (The book is Maybe, Maybe Not: Second Thoughts from a Secret Life. Page 101 in my 1993 paperback copy.)
In it, he discusses his suicide attempt (which, though not at all a funny topic, is a rather funny, life-affirming story). And he admits that he’s had the urge since then. He describes it as facing a bull in the ring – a rather accurate metaphor, I think. He says that, with practice, you become more confident facing the bull. And I do. And I’m guessing you do, too.
Thanks so much for sharing this story. It’s good to hear advice that doesn’t involve weekly therapy sessions and daily meds. Those things might help some people, but they did nada for me.
